The plane ride back to America may
seem like an eternity away, but the journey home will arrive at my door quicker
than I can imagine. At this point, all I can do is imagine how I will be
different at the end of this eight week adventure. My idea of change expected
from this trip is one that will enhance my cultural understanding of Italy, and
revive an interest in seeking worldly knowledge that I haven’t experienced in
years.
As the never ending passage of time
continually marches into the unknown, I find myself becoming overwhelmed by the
changes brought about by its progression. With an undergraduates degree rapidly
drawing nearer each month it brings about a fear of the uncertainties that
comes with it. Will I be able to find work? Did I truly choose the right major?
Am I good enough at what I do? Where will I live when I leave my dorm forever?
These daunting questions facing me that require answer have been thrust upon me
seemingly all at once. Instead of being met with gradual answers discovered
over the last two and a half years, they have seen countless attempts to turn
away from the reality of what’s approaching. Sometimes I feel that the weight
of the future is crushing my chest, and all I can do is retreat to the carefree
habits that indulged my imagination since I was still in grade school.
There
are two outcomes that I can foresee coming out of the Rome experience. The fact
is clear that a getaway from the unchanging stress that has somewhat crippled
me was necessary in my eyes. How it will affect me remains to be seen. I want
this trip to change me in a way that I will feel refreshed from a once in a
lifetime experience. I look forward to being able to tackle the issues that I
face back home with renewed spirit. I want Rome to be a stress relief overwhelming
me with its rich history. I know that this is not a vacation, but I still look
at it as a getaway from the anxiety that has been obstructing my path for quite
some time. When I step foot on American soil for the first time in eight weeks,
I want to do so with prevailing strides. Weeks, months, even years after this
trip ends, I want to remember The Rome Experience as the point in my life that
reenergized me to handle the rapidly changing waves of life.
The
other possibility that can come true is one where I do not receive a
reenergizing boost from a once in a lifetime trip to Italy. Instead, my mind
and motivation to meet challenges stays in Italy. There is a chance that I will
not be able to pull my head out from the ruins of the Roman Forum, or readjust
my attention from the Gladiatorial games to the necessities that will need it.
Barzini quotes Nathaniel Hawthorn on his point; “When we spend too many of them
(years) on a foreign shore. We defer the reality of life, in such cases, until
a future moment, when we shall again breathe our native air; but by and by, there
are no future moments; or, if we do return, we find that the native air has
lost its invigorating quality” (Barzini). According to Hawthorn, many how go to
Italy end up coming back or even taking up residence in its magnificent appeal.
This outcome could be catastrophic if my mind stays in Italy after I return
home. If this happens, then I will be worse off in my drive to tackle the
stress of growing into an independent adult with a hopeful career path. According
to Barzini, many who come to Italy end up coming back or even staying. Italy
has some sort of enchanting spell that captivates those who cross beyond the
shelter of the Alps. I could fall victim to the Italian allure in a way that will
keep me on its shores long after I fly out of Europe.
